7:30ish (mountain time) Woke up nice and early on this freezing Monday morning, so excited to be headed for LA, but sad about leaving Halliday too. My flight is booked, my bag is packed and I am almost sure we should find the airport in time. It's an hour away in Dickinson, so we leave a good few hours before my flight just in case.
10:30 Thank goodness we left so early! Turns out the airport is way out the other side of Dickinson, and my flight is at 12! Slightly nervous about missing check-in cut off time.
11:10 The airport is a barn. Literally. It's the size of a really large lecture hall and made mostly out of wooden slats. Am moderately concerned about where the runway is and how long it is, if this is the size of the airport!
11:30 Ok, massive backpack is checked, boarding pass is in my hand and I am ready to go! Should be boarding any minute now!
12:15 JK! The plane isn't even in Dickinson yet. Who wants to board their flight on time anyway?
12:30 My plane is an express. Like a really large remote controlled toy. Apprehension building quickly. I sense this is going to be a long day.
13:20 I am psychic. Our 12:00 flight is still on the ground. Apparently the modern fuel system decided to stop working so they had to fuel the plane the old fashioned way - over the wing with a hose from the fuel truck. This complete, they then decided they need a mechanic to come and wire the fuel tank cap onto the plane so that nobody tampers with it.
13:35 Wonder if I am the only one on the flight thinking how the hell tampering can even be an issue when we are going to be FLYING. In the air. Where the wing (and by association, the fuel cap) is pretty much safe from all human hands unless Superman decides to drop in for a chat...
13:45 Pilot apologises for the "slight" (seriously?) delay and we taxi onto the runway. Fervent prayers start now.
15:30 Safely in Denver after an uneventful flight, thank heavens. Only landed two hours late. First world countries... Yay.
16:15 Ready and waiting at gate 93 to board my 16:45 flight to Phoenix, Arizona - the second of three flights for the day. Lady announces that the boarding gate has changed from gate 93 to gate 71. Curses. The walk is long and I'm in my not-yet-fully-broken-in cowgirl boots! Ouchie :( I walk the long passages and climb the seemingly endless flight of stairs with serious purpose.
16:18 Lady at gate 71 informs me I am mistaken, my flight definitely does not leave from her gate. Apparently the flight boards have the most up-to-date information. Flight boards still say gate 93. Grrrrr. Getting frustrated!
16:23 Lady at gate 93 kindly tells me I need to board my flight at gate 71. I resist the urge to be mean because I know it's not her fault that lady at gate 71 is a complete and utter moron.
16:30 Lady at gate 71 avoids my gaze as they call our flight to her gate and I give her my ticket. I hold my tongue. I shall be the bigger person. I made it to my flight, no harm, no foul. Except for the blister on my foot.
16:55 Long day is not even close to over. Another large toy plane. Joy and wonder. And I swear we're being Punk'd. Flight is now late for take off. Air hostess informs us that we are delayed because they are changing a tyre on the plane. WHAT?!?! What a whopper. Truth was they had two ladies with a ticket for the same seat and they had to figure out which lady should get it. They couldn't hide that from us any longer once the saga started to unfold inside the plane. I remember a lady in front of me was pulled aside at the gate and told they didn't have a seat for her. She was not happy. They obviously decided it was her seat because they plopped her down mid-plane near me. Woohoo! Ready for take off.
17:00 Not! The air hostess walks down to Lady #1 and sheepishly informs her that they've just found the rightful occupant of that seat and she unfortunately now needs to get off the plane. Lady #1 indignantly stomps off the plane in a very impressively elegant manner.
17:05 Lady #2 is on the plane. 20 mins of lateness and counting. Woohoo! Ready for take off.
17:10 Not! Air hostess now sheepishly informs Lady #2 that Lady #1 actually has seniority and thus the seat is in fact rightfully hers. The whole plane "ooooohh"s like a bunch of teenagers watching some sort of dissing contest.
17:15 Lady #1 has now taken up her rightful place in aisle seat number middle-ish. Woohoo! Ready for take off. Only 30 minutes late this time.
18:00 (pacific time) Safely landed in Denver, 15 minutes before boarding due to start on my final flight to LA.
18:05 PANIC. My flight takes off two terminals away from where I am now and the bus to that terminal was leaving as I came through the doors. Praying like a dying atheist that the buses are very frequent.
18:15 The buses are not as frequent as I'd hoped. Shit.
18:20 Sprinting across Phoenix airport as fast as possible without breaking an ankle in my boots, taking off jacket, jewelry and sunglasses in the process in preparation for security check.
18:30 Kill me now. Lines at security check are longer than the lines at McDonald's at 3am on a Saturday.
18:35 Slowest security check of my life. I'm sweating buckets. Set off at a sprint for my gate while still pulling on my boots and putting my jacket, jewelry and glasses back on. Run-dressing should be a marketable talent.
18:38 Seven minutes to spare. Can't breathe. Of course, the one flight I'm late for because of another useless airline is the flight that's on time.
18:45 As the plane lifts into the air, the gangster-dressed, intimidatingly large Hispanic guy next to me kisses his thumb and crosses himself. I feel much safer already.
18:50 Horrible feeling my bag didn't make it onto the flight. Can't quite imagine how it could have when I had to practically go supersonic to get there myself.
19:30 Gangster guy is actually pretty nice and gives me all sorts of tips on what to see in LA.
20:05 Landed safely at LAX! Gangster guy repeats his Hail Mary and I'm tempted to follow suit after the day I've had. Perhaps it'll ensure that I see my bag on the conveyor belt!
20:30 I am DEFINITELY psychic. Lost and found baggage services inform me that my bag didn't make it onto my flight (DUH. That's why I'm standing at this stupid counter!) and is on a flight that is landing at 21:41. Fanfreakingtastic.
20:45 Baggage services has offered to deliver my bag to the address I'm staying at. The lady says last delivery for the day is at 22:45 so I am assured that I will be reunited with my bag before midnight. I gratefully accept the complimentary toiletry kit they offer me and run for the door. Had enough of airports for a while!
22:45 Check website for update on bag status. Website simply says bag arrived at 21:30. How helpful and informative. Now I know exactly what is going on.
23:20 Phone call from unknown number to enquire if I would like my bag delivered tonight. YES PLEASE.
00:00 No bag, no more phone calls, no updates on the website.
01:00 No bag, no more phone calls, no updates on the website.
02:00 No bag, no more phone calls, no updates on the website.
02:35 Bag has arrived. Welcome to the land of dreams.
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